Mortimer, let me tell you about the story, "Romeo and Juliet." First, this guy named Romeo went to a party so he could see his beloved, Rosaline. And then he found out that he liked another girl that was named Juliet. Well, that night he just hopped over the orchard wall, and he heard Juliet saying how much that she loves him. (And women in those days had to play hard to get!) "Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou, Romeo?" That's what Juliet said. (I made her speech a little shorter.)

OK, so the second day, Romeo went to the friar for help -- for marriage. Well, this very morning, Romeo and Juliet got married. In the afternoon, Romeo got into a fight, and he slaughtered somebody; so he was banished - banished - banished. He went to a town to wait until the friar could convince the Prince to let Romeo back in the city.

In the meantime, Juliet's father got her a man to marry. Juliet felt horror at marrying this man. So she went to the friar, and the friar gave her some potion to fall asleep so the world would think she was dead. Well, then Romeo heard that Juliet was dead. He stopped by a stand on the way back to the city and bought a bottle of poison. If Juliet was dead, he was going to drink the poison.

He made it back there to the city, and he took a mace and battered down the walls of the tombs. The Count, who was supposed to marry Juliet, came to lay flowers on the tomb of Juliet. Romeo got into a fight with the Count, and he killed the Count. And just about the time Juliet was about to wake up, he drank the poison! When Juliet woke up, she found Romeo dead. She tried to lick the bottle for any more drops of poison. The she kissed his lips for any poison that was on his mouth. The she took her dagger and stabbed herself. The two families never got into a quarrel again.