Chorus:
Grandma got run over by a reindeer
Walkin' home from our house Christmas Eve
You can say there's no such thing as Santa
But as for me and Grandpa, we believe

v.1
She'd been drinkin' too much eggnog
And we begged her not to go
But she forgot her medication
So she staggered out the door into the snow

When we found her Christmas mornin'
At the scene of the attack
She had hoofprints on her forehead
And incriminating Claus marks on her back

Rpt. Ch.
v.2
Now we're all so proud of Grandpa
He's been takin' this so well
See him in there watchin' football
Drinkin beer an' playin' cards with cousin Mel

It's not Christmas without Grandama
All the family's dressed in black
And we just can't help but wonder
Should we open up her gifts or send them back?

Rpt. Ch.
v.3
Now the goose is on the table
And the pudding made of fig
And the blue and silver candles
That would've just matched the hair in Grandma's wig

I've warned all my friends and neighbors
Better watch out for yourselves
They shoulda never gave a license
To a man who drives a sleigh and plays with elves
Rpt. Ch.