v.1
GYou know I love that organic cookin' I Calways ask for Gmore
GAn' they call me Mr. EmNatural on Adown to the health food Dstore
GI only eat good sea salt white Csugar don't touch my Glips
GAn my friends are always Ebeggin me to take 'em on AmacrobiDotic Gtrips
Yes they Emare
EmOh but at night I take out my strongbox that I Amkeep under lock and Emkey
EmAnd I take it off to my closet where F#nobody else can Bsee
I Emopen that door so slowly take a Ampeek up north and EmsouthC
Then I Gpull out a Hostess ETwinkie and I Apop it Din my Gmouth
Chorus:
In the Cdaytime I'm Mr. GNatural just as Dhealthy as I can Gbe
But at night I'm a junk food Emjunkie good Lord have pity on meG--D--G-D-G
v.2:
Well at lunchtime you can always find me at the Whole Earth Vitamin Bar
Just suckin' on my plain white yogurt from my hand-thrown pottery jar
I sip a little hand-pressed cider with a carrot stick for dessert
And I wipe my face in a natural way on the sleeve of my peasant shirt
Oh, yeah...
Ah but when that clock strikes midnight and I'm all by myself
I work that combination on my secret hide-away shelf
Then I pull out some Fritos corn chips Dr. Pepper and a ol' Moon Pie
And I sit back in glorious expection of a genuine junk food high
Rpt Ch.
v.3:
My friends down at the commune they think I'm pretty neat
Oh, I don't know nothin' bout arts n crafts but I give 'em all somethin' to eat
I'm a friend to ol' Euell Gibbons and I only eat homegrown spice
I got a John Keats autographed Grecian urn filled up with my brown rice
Yes I do
Ah, folks, but lately I have been spotted with a Big Mac on my breath
Stumblin' into a Colonel Sanders with a face as white as death
I'm afraid someday they'll find me all stretched out on my bed
With a handful of Pringles potato chips and a Ding Dong by my head
Rpt Ch.